Usually we equate suffering with feeling, but feeling is not suffering. It is the grasping of desire that is suffering. Desire does not cause suffering; the cause of suffering is the grasping of desire. This statement is for reflection and contemplation in terms of your individual experience. —Buddhanet
I pursue pleasure whenever I get into my car and drive 50 miles to catch a performance and dinner at Blues Alley in Washington, DC. As long as that’s an occasional treat, I don’t see it as an obstacle to my liberation. My pursuit of pleasure would become an obstacle if it transformed into upādāna—the Sanskrit and Pali word for clinging, grasping, and attachment.
In a state of upādāna, I’d consider the next jazz show at Blues Alley essential to my ongoing contentment with life. Maybe I wouldn’t admit it to myself in those words, but I’d feel and act as if that were true. You can probably think of times when you or someone you know got so attached to an anticipated pleasure or outcome that they were crushed when it didn’t happen.
We can get so wrapped up in the success or failure of a sports team or celebrity that we feel their fates get tied up with ours. A little of that can briefly be fun, but clinging to it is unhealthy spiritually and practically. It becomes dangerous to others as well as ourselves when we cling to a cause.
Worldwide, we seem to be increasingly plagued by the vicious polarization of people clinging to a cause like religion, ethnicity, or political identity. At its extreme, the result is war and genocide. It’s terrorism, suicide bombers, missiles, and exploding pagers.
In the United States, we’re approaching a presidential election in which up to 70% of the public—on both sides—believes that a victory by the other side would endanger the nation’s future. Logic tells us that some of that is based on analysis of the candidates and issues and some on clinging to a political policy or personality. That’s the sort of upādāna that can lead to rioting and violence.
When we cling to a substance like drugs or food or a behavior like sex or gambling, we call that addiction and may mistakenly blame that addiction on the role of dopamine in the brain. That’s a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure. But going on a “dopamine fast” doesn’t in itself cure addiction. According to Maria Szalavitz, writing in the New York Times opinion section:
Dopamine motivates us to learn about the world by helping predict what produces positive experiences and encouraging us to repeat them. Addiction, however, is driven more by the compulsion to repeat an experience than by the intensity of the pleasure that’s felt.
That brings us back to where we started. It’s not desire that causes suffering; it’s the grasping of the desire. What causes the grasping is the lack of something else in our lives—the lack of a healthier source of pleasure. It’s the lack of a more profound sense of satisfaction or completeness. That’s where religion and spirituality can fill the gap.
I’ll repeat here the story about the Buddha’s view on a spiritual life. Here’s a version from Lion’s Roar magazine:
One day, Ananda and the Buddha were sitting alone on a hill together, overlooking the plains of the Ganges. Having served as the Buddha’s attendant for many years, Ananda often shared his reflections and insights with him. This afternoon, Ananda spoke. “Dear Respected Teacher,” Ananda said. “It seems to me that half of the spiritual life is good friendship, good companionship, good comradeship.”… [T]he Buddha quickly corrected him: “Not so, Ananda! Not so, Ananda! This is the entire spiritual life, Ananda, that is, good friendship, good companionship, good comradeship…”
In the Meghiya Sutta, the Buddha tells a monk struggling with his practice about five qualities that bring one’s awareness to maturity. The first is “where a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, & colleagues.”
That’s why, in Buddhism, we take refuge in the Buddha (person or embodiment), the dharma (teachings or truth), and the sangha (spiritual community). I chant, pray, and meditate for an hour daily over Zoom with a sangha of mature and admirable companions on the path. We live scattered around the United States and often log on as we travel elsewhere, but we’re united in our practice and our aspiration to end suffering for all beings.
I can’t claim to know anything for sure, but I strongly believe that the decline in group membership in the West and elsewhere and the growing sense of isolation are significant causes of increased grasping.
We need more sanghas—communities of sincere spiritual practitioners of all faiths.
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The musical bonus is dedicated to the memory of a dear long-gone friend, Jane Wilhelm, who practiced all religions.