I find it curious that every year, Americans slaughter 50 million turkeys to express their gratitude. —Bhante Gunaratana
I chose that quotation not because I believe everyone should abstain from eating turkey but rather to question how we express gratitude. This blog post and podcast are intended to raise questions for contemplation. Answers—if there are such things—are up to the individual.
The idea for this post came when I was meditating in one room, and my wife listened to a dharma talk in another. The bits that filtered into my consciousness had to do with gratitude—of course. It was four days before the U.S. holiday of Thanksgiving.
My inclination, as a contrarian, was to buck the trend. But what could be wrong with gratitude? Countless Buddhist teachers suggest incorporating it into our practice. For one example, in an essay by teacher Jonathan Borella about making mindful gratitude part of one’s daily practice, he writes:
Evolutionary psychology describes an adaptation called the Zargonic effect, which predisposes the human mind to notice what’s wrong more easily than what is right. It might have served our ancestors well who had to survive in the wild and build a society from the ground up. But for people like us who have time and space and safety to come and sit in meditation together and not have to worry about anything (at least for the moment), an unmindfulness of this habit tends to lead us to worry about things when there is nothing to worry about.
So a mindful practice of cultivating gratitude can help to correct for this habit and bring our mind back to center where there is peace and a more holistic and balanced view of the way things actually are.
Part of my daily practice is reflecting on these words:
Seeing its many wonderful qualities, I rejoice and delight in this human life.
Contemplating those words daily—as well as other parts of my practice—has led me to a state of constant joy and gratitude for my life as it is, warts and all. It’s my baseline. If one of those warts distracts me from the baseline, I quickly remember that I love it, too. This is known as “one taste” in Buddhism—to accept everything that comes one’s way without trying to separate the wanted from the unwanted.
Here’s the well-known quote from the Third Chinese Patriarch of Zen:
The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.
Having no preferences at all is a lot to ask. Instead, consider recognizing that preferences are just that. They’re unrelated to the satisfaction you feel or don’t feel with your life.
We’re getting closer now to my grumpiness about gratitude—or, more accurately, some ways that thankfulness is expressed. I feel gratitude for being alive in human form in the world as I perceive it. Thanks to the Buddha, the dharma, the sangha, and my individual teachers, I maintain a daily practice that reminds me I live in a pure land. That’s a lot to be thankful for. Gratitude is an essential part of my being.
If you don’t have a practice that is leading or has led you to constant joy and gratitude, consider beginning one with a daily component of cultivating gratitude and appreciation for what is.
Where I suggest caution is gratitude that is intertwined with ego and preferences—thankfulness for one thing over another. I had a blessed moment yesterday of listening to music played and sung by a group of friends and listened to by others in this circle of friendship. I found myself meditating and contemplating love and friendship. I wasn’t thankful for this particular group of friends (as much as I love them) or this particular genre of music (as much as I appreciate it). I was grateful for friendship and how the music drew us together.
NOTE: Please check out the musical bonus at the bottom of this post for a song from my dear friends with an especially inspirational and spiritual message for today.
As Thanksgiving approaches for those of us in the United States, I suggest caution about feeling and expressing gratitude for Aunt Mary’s apple pie (as opposed to Uncle Charlie’s pumpkin), feeling pride in how many compliments you got for your stuffing or how many compliments you gave to others, rating the quality of the blessing or the eloquence of one toast over another. Be thankful for it all.
Consider refraining from putting your loved ones on the spot to name something they’re grateful for. The result will be embarrassment for the shy ones and temptations to show off for others.
These may seem like small quibbles, and they are. Consider them goads to evaluate how the small things in life influence your spiritual growth.
And, for fun, here’s some light reading about those turkeys:
From the Pure Land has thousands of readers and hundreds of subscribers in 33 U.S. states and 14 countries. The podcast has listeners in 40 countries. Consider:
If you are not already a subscriber, please become one. Free and paid subscribers receive the same content, but subscribing for $5 a month or $50 a year helps support my mission to reduce the world’s suffering.
Make a one-time gift of any amount.
Share this post with a friend.
Listen and subscribe to the From the Pure Land podcasts via your favorite app or by clicking here.
Today’s musical bonus is from my friends Andrew McKnight (lead vocals, acoustic guitar), Stephanie Thompson (percussion & congas, harmony vocals), Les Thompson (upright bass), and Lisa Taylor (drums, harmony vocals).
Share this post